... Relationships are such a big and important part of our world. Apart from our lives in Christ, the people around us, give meaning to our lives. Relationships are a great source of joy and can be the root of some pain.
Often times, we mess up by allowing our relationships to be the source of our vaule, internally. We look to someone else for who we are, as an indicator of our worth and value. And when a relationship doesn't work out, as a result, it rips away at our core.
I remember one particular break up, where I ended the relationship, yet, still, I remember feeling so destroyed. Ya'll know that ugly cry? I had so many of those moments, at random times. Lol. I laugh now, but those emotions were so real at the time. I think those emotions came from a place of lack, and desperation, as if I thought "what if there isn't anything else out there better?" And I remember feeling as if a part of my identify was tied to, not necessarily the person, but being in a relationship; and now that I was no longer in it, I wasn't sure what that said about me. You see, this is why we can not allow relationships to define our worth or identify.
With break ups, there's also a sense of grieving the end of it because our hope and expectations were tied to it. It's ok to grieve those moments, it's a loss- but greater is coming. Know that it's ok to hurt, but you've got to heal and that it may take some time- so, grace yourself with enough of it. Be kind to yourself. Honor your journey. Be around community- you're not alone and you don't have to hide. Healing is a process and it takes work. But it can be a journey of beauty as well, as we discover and heal layers of our souls.
Below are three tips that really helped my heart to heal in the process of a heart break.
1. Understand your worth. Know that despite how it feels, this relationship is NOT tied to your worth. You are worth it because God says that you are. You are awesome, because God has created you fearfully and wonderfully- and you're an image of Him. Psalm 139. Practically, endow yourself in the love of God and how great you are in Him. Listen to some love songs, that sing of the love you deserve- and the love that you are and bring.
2. Distance. You may need to create healthy distance from yourself and that person. Having spent so much time with them, you'll need time apart in order to unravel those soul, emotional, and physical ties. Your mind and heart need time apart to heal.
3. Check your perscetipve, change it from a pereceptive of lack to abundance. Know that God is the Author of our faith. And He's writting your story. His ink is infinite and eternal, and He is able to do exceedingly abundantly bigger than anything we can imagine. Know that God's "no" is protection and anticipate His greatest to come! And trusting the timing even if we don't understand it quite yet.
Remember, our perspective is so limited. But God sees the future. Trust Him, today. Trust Him with your pain, your dreams, and your life. His way is greater. Be encouraged by Roman 8:8, that all things are working for y(our) good, for those who believe in God.
Heal.
XoXo